You are wrong about that I was just tring to keep it short. Some examples!
When my grand-doughter was about 5 she was playing with her little brother and head butted him in the stomic. He fell down. Her step-father disiplined her by poking her with his finger in her chest. Later that day I saw the marks. My other doughter saw this too and mentioned it to her mother. She got mad at her.
Another doughter was visiting them and had her 4yr old son with her. The boys made a mess in my grandsons room and his father made my grand-doughter go to his room to clean it. My doughter thought this was unfair to her and told him that the boys made the mess and they should clean it.
They moved out of state and are only here on vacations.Two years ago they were here for Christmas. When it was time for them to leave the kids were told to pack up and take the bags to the car. My grand-son kept messing around and my grand-doughter ended up taking all the bags to the car while my doughter and son-in-law just sat there.
Again last Christmas the same thing happened. My grand-son wasn't helping cause he was looking for a game. I mentioned this to my doughter and it irritated her. She told me to tell my grandson myself to help. I did but my grand-doughter already had all the bags in the car.While they were here (I had a house full of relitives) my grand-doughter was walking past the love seat where her step-father was laying down and he wacked her real good on her behind. For no apparent reason, just messing with her. It was loud enough that eveybody there was shocked! She turned around and started yelling at him that she hated that.
We were at their house a couple years ago and me my doughter and grand-doughter were in the kitchen fixing dinner. My son-in-law and husband were watching tv in the living room. My grand-son was told that it was his turn to set the table. He stood in the living room and had a fit. He knocked a nick-nack off a shelf and was yelling at his father. His father just sat there. My husband got up and got on to my grandson and told him to do what he was told and appolizise to his father. He did. My doughter and son-in-law thought this was great. After that she was calling our house wanting my husband to strighten out the kids. My husband told her that it was her job and that he didn't want her to make him the heavy all the time.
My grand-doughter has complained numerous times that they are unfair to her. Over the years she has grown more defient and rebelious, I think because of his treatment and my doughters lack of intervention. This has been brought up to her by me and her sisters and her step-father(my X). She tells us that it is between my grand-doughter and her step-father. That they need to work it out. (My doughter had a good relationship with her own step-father and wanted the same for my grand-doughter).
Keep in mind that I'v heard all this from my doughter. When My 16 year old grand-doughter was about 8 she accused her step-father of sexual abuse. My doughter called athoritys and it was checked out. They could find no proof. Last year she accused him again. It was investigated and again no proof. Then months later my doughter called me and said that he had gone to her (my grand-doughters) room and the lights were off and he was sitting on the edge of her bed. He said he was just talking to her. My grand-doughter said that he was but she was afraid. She now has a boyfriend and the parents don't like him or his family. I'm not crazy about what I've heard about them either.
My grand-doughter now has a driver lincese and was having use of the car. But she is doing things like comming home late, fighting with her parents. She has been told she can't see the boyfriend. (She sneeks around to see him). She has been grounded from the car.
Also keep in mind that my doughter has unlimited long distance and calls me alomst every day, sometimes 3 or 4 times a day. I hear about all the things my grand-doughter is doing wrong. I have been asked to talk to her frequently.
The last insident was that she was sent to the store with the car (she was grounded from the car)! She was gone an hour too long. Her step-father on his way home from work saw her come out of the street that her boyfriend lives on and followed her home. He says she was moving at 95miles per hour. Of course when they got home a big fight broke loose. My doughter wanted to send my grand-doughter to my X husband. (My doughters step-father). Hes an X because of years of drug abuse. My other doughter talked her into sending my grand-doughter to her instead because of that. (about 100 miles away). That is where my grand-doughter is now.
Her aunt says that she is enjoying herself there but misses her mom and boyfriend. She got to go to Disney World. Her mother didn't like that because she says that she sent her away to be punished,not have fun. I told her that I thought it was a great opportunity for her. She was going to start looking for a job there but needed her work permit. My doughter sent it down with my son-in-law. (He had to go there to pick up some funiture). At first he refused to give it to her unless she came out of the bedroom and talked to him. (She wouldn't). Her aunt finnally talked him into giving it to her.(She told me this).
Over the years conseling has been recommended. They have only gone once and my son-in-law would hardly talk. While she is there at her aunts house her aunt is going to take her to a counsler. She was a straight A student,( she wanted to be a doctor),now her grades are going down.
Her mother says that she is not going to let her come back home till she talks to her step-father. She is now 17. Also her boyfriends birthday is at the end of the month and she is upset that she can't be there. She wants to finish her last year of high school in the same school. Her aunt say if she can't go home she is welcome to stay there. (I don't know if my doughter is bluffing or not. She has tried bluffing before).
Last time I talked to my doughter on the phone it was on the first of this month. I told her that my son-in-law didn't need to push it with my grand-doughter(about the work permit).Irritately she said I needed to tell him that myself. I said that I don't get a chance to talk to him much. Then we talked about her not letting my grand-doughter come home till she talked to him. I pointed out the problems with them over the years and I thought he was unfair to her. I told her that my grand-doughter was her responsibility,not his. She got mad and hung up.
Sence then I have gotten e-mails from my 7 year old grand-doughter and 2 phone calls. The last one she asked me if I wanted to talk to her mom. I asked if she wanted to talk to me and I heard her say no. I asked my grand-doughter whos idea was it to call and she said her mom. The 7yr old will ask to call once in a while but hardly ever e-mails me. I have gotten 4 e-mails and 2 calls from her in 2 weeks.
Last week I was on line talking to the aunt that has the 17yr old and her mother came on line. I couldn't see her as she has my i-m and e-mail blocked too. The aunt asked her and I to go to a chat room. We did. I told my doughter that I was sorry that i had made her mad. I got no response. She left the chat room and told her sister she didn't feel like talking any more and got off line.
I feel that she is trying to punish me cause I dissagreed with her. Its not the first time she has done this, but it is the longest.
In the past she has gotten mad about small things I have said and didn't say anything to me but will tell her sisters. I won't have thought anything about it but she will make it sound negitive to her sisters and most of the time it wasn't said that way. So it puzzles me why she does it.
She has also told her sisters small fibs about me. When she still lived close to me. I had left my X (10 yrs ago)and was going out to clubs with friends. I enjoyed dancing. I'm not much of a drinker so my drink would get watered down because I was on the dance floor so much. She told her sisters that I was getting drunk all the time and hanging all over the men. Never would I! I was on my own and had to be sure not to get drunk because I had to drive myself home! I don't understand where this comes from.
I love my doughter and grand-doughter but I worry about my grand-doughter. And I feel they all need help. Also my doughter tells the family that my grand-doughter is my favorite but thats not true. I love them all the same and if I can't do for one I don't do for any of them. I am close to her kids cause they have lived around me. I know them better.
My doughter has told my sister some of the things that have happened. I had a heated discussion with my sister because she thinks that my grand-doughter is purposely starting trouble and has the whole family in an uprore. That she is lying about the abuse. She only knows what my doughter has told her. She hasn't lived around them very long like I have.
When my grandoughter is not around her parents she is no problem at all. Her aunt has had no trouble with her. When she is here she is more willing to help do things while her parents sit around. When I tell my doughter to pick up her messes at my house she tells me she on vacation.
Thats the best I can give you for now.I know there are a whole lot of underlying issue's for them and me also. But I feel theres nothing I can do about it for them. I am not a vindictive person. I don't hold gruges. I don't stay mad at someone I love very long. My other doughters have never done this or my son.
Well, thank you! I hope thats enough details for now.
You leave out too many details. Like what are the kind of things you are saying? What is your history with her? What is going on personally in her life? Sounds to me like you just want someone to agree with you without fairly divulging all the facts.
My 35 year old doughter will not talk to me for long peroids of time when I say something that she gets mad about. Usually a couple days but this time it has been two weeks and she has blocked my e-mail.
